{"id":737,"date":"2022-05-18T21:30:00","date_gmt":"2022-05-19T02:30:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/stephenleng.com\/cn\/?p=737"},"modified":"2024-03-23T10:47:36","modified_gmt":"2024-03-23T02:47:36","slug":"refuse-to-grow","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/stephenleng.com\/cn\/refuse-to-grow\/","title":{"rendered":"\u62d2\u7edd\u6210\u957f\uff0c\u62d2\u7edd\u8d70\u51fa\u81ea\u8eab\u2014\u2014\u8bc4\u4e2d\u6587\u4e92\u8054\u7f51\u4e2d\u4e00\u79cd\u65e5\u76ca\u5347\u9ad8\u7684\u53e3\u543b"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p>\u4e00\u4f4d\u670b\u53cb\u7ed9\u6211\u8f6c\u53d1\u4e86\u300a\u4e09\u8054\u751f\u6d3b\u5468\u520a\u300b\u5fae\u4fe1\u516c\u4f17\u53f7\u4e0a\u7684\u4e00\u7bc7\u6587\u7ae0\uff0c\u6807\u9898\u53eb<a rel=\"noreferrer noopener\" href=\"https:\/\/mp.weixin.qq.com\/s\/Tf5vM_l1V7fkVQ5sD3W2_w\" target=\"_blank\">\u300a\u4e3a\u4ec0\u4e48\u4f60\u6c38\u8fdc\u89c9\u5f97\u81ea\u5df1\u4e0d\u591f\u597d\uff1f\u300b<\/a>\uff08\u4ee5\u4e0b\u7b80\u79f0\u300a\u4e3a\u4ec0\u4e48\u300b\uff09\u3002\u4f5c\u8005\u8ba4\u4e3a\uff0c\u5fc3\u7406\u5b66\u548c\u81ea\u52a9\u6587\u5316\u4e00\u8d77\u6784\u6210\u4e00\u79cd\u793e\u4f1a\u63a7\u5236\u7684\u624b\u6bb5\uff0c\u5b83\u4eec\u7ed9\u4eba\u4eec\u5236\u9020\u4e86\u5bf9\u81ea\u8eab\u7684\u7126\u8651\uff0c\u4fc3\u4f7f\u4eba\u4eec\u89c9\u5f97\u81ea\u5df1\u8fd8\u4e0d\u591f\u597d\uff0c\u6c38\u8fdc\u611f\u5230\u532e\u4e4f\uff0c\u5f53\u5bf9\u81ea\u8eab\u7684\u7126\u8651\u88ab\u5236\u9020\u51fa\u6765\u540e\uff0c\u5199\u81ea\u52a9\u4e66\u7c4d\u7684\u4f5c\u5bb6\u5c31\u53ef\u4ee5\u5356\u4e66\u8d5a\u94b1\u4e86\u3002<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>\u5728\u501f\u7528\u67d0\u793e\u4f1a\u5b66\u5bb6\u7684\u89c2\u70b9\u5bf9\u5fc3\u7406\u5b66\u548c\u81ea\u52a9\u6587\u5316\u8fdb\u884c\u4e00\u901a\u6279\u5224\u540e\uff0c\u4f5c\u8005\u7ed9\u4e86\u4e00\u4e2a\u9887\u5177\u8bf1\u60d1\u6027\u7684\u5efa\u8bae\uff1a<\/p>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-pullquote has-medium-font-size\"><blockquote><p>\u201c\u4e0e\u5176\u8ffd\u6c42\u522b\u4eba\u4e3a\u4f60\u5b9a\u4e49\u7684\u6210\u529f\u548c\u5e78\u798f\uff0c\u5411\u5185\u82e6\u82e6\u8ffd\u5bfb\u6240\u8c13\u7684\u81ea\u6211\uff0c\u66f4\u52c7\u6562\u7684\u505a\u6cd5\u4e5f\u8bb8\u662f\u627f\u8ba4\u81ea\u5df1\u7684\u5c40\u9650\uff0c\u6211\u4e0d\u60f3\u53d8\u5316\uff0c\u6211\u5c31\u5728\u8fd9\u91cc\u633a\u597d\u3002\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<p>Knowyourself\u4e5f\u8bb8\u662f\u4e2d\u56fd\u5927\u9646\u4eba\u6c14\u6700\u9ad8\u7684\u9ad8\u8d28\u91cf\u5fc3\u7406\u5b66\u5411\u5a92\u4f53\u2014\u2014\u987a\u5e26\u4e00\u63d0\uff0c\u5b83\u6700\u8fd1\u7684\u6587\u7ae0\u91cc\u5e7f\u544a\u8d8a\u6765\u8d8a\u591a\u4e86\uff0c\u751a\u81f3\u5e7f\u544a\u5728\u6587\u7ae0\u7684\u524d\u9762\u2014\u2014\u6700\u8fd1\u5b83\u6709\u4e00\u7bc7\u975e\u5e38\u8fce\u5408\u72ec\u8eab\u4e3b\u4e49\u8005\u7684\u53e3\u5473\u7684\u6587\u7ae0<a href=\"https:\/\/mp.weixin.qq.com\/s\/YE7bNJJy6uWNSQ5SGoexfA\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">\u300a#Selina\u8bf4\u4e0d\u4f1a\u518d\u7ed3\u5a5a\u4e86#\u73b0\u4ee3\u4eba\u7684\u7231\u60c5\u8fd8\u9700\u8981\u7ed3\u5a5a\u5417\uff0c\u4f60\u600e\u4e48\u770b\uff1f\u300b<\/a>\uff0c\u8fd9\u7bc7\u6587\u7ae0\u5f15\u7528\u4e86\u4e00\u4e2a\u6765\u6e90\u6765\u53cd\u51fb\u8fc7\u53bb\u51e0\u5341\u5e74\u5173\u4e8e\u5a5a\u59fb\u4e0e\u5e78\u798f\u7684\u5173\u7cfb\u7684\u5404\u79cd\u7814\u7a76\u7684\u79d1\u5b66\u5171\u8bc6\u3002\u4f60\u53ef\u80fd\u731c\u6d4b\u8fd9\u4e2a\u6765\u6e90\u53d1\u8868\u5728\u4e86\u4e00\u672c\u7ecf\u540c\u884c\u8bc4\u8bae\u7684\u5fc3\u7406\u5b66\u5b66\u672f\u520a\u7269\u4e0a\u3002\u5982\u679c\u4f60\u8fd9\u4e48\u60f3\u7684\u8bdd\u90a3\u5c31\u592a\u5929\u771f\u4e86\uff0c\u90a3\u4e2a\u6765\u6e90\u53ea\u662f<a href=\"https:\/\/www.psychologytoday.com\/us\/blog\/living-single\/201207\/should-marriage-be-abolished-minimized-or-left-alone\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">\u4e00\u7bc7\u535a\u5ba2\u6587\u7ae0<\/a>\uff0c\u800c\u4f5c\u8005\u662f\u4e00\u540d\u65d7\u5e1c\u9c9c\u660e\u7684\u5355\u8eab\u4e3b\u4e49\u8005\u3002\u800c\u4e14\u90a3\u7bc7\u535a\u5ba2\u6587\u7ae0\u4e5f\u53ea\u662f\u8bc4\u8bba\u4e86\u4e00\u672c<strong>\u54f2\u5b66\u5bb6<\/strong>\u5199\u7684\u53cd\u5bf9\u5a5a\u59fb\u7684\u4e66\u800c\u5df2\u3002\u5c31\u8fd9\u6837\uff0c\u4f5c\u8005\u5728\u7ed3\u8bba\u90e8\u5206\u5c31\u8fd9\u6837\u5802\u800c\u7687\u4e4b\u5730\u5199\u4e0b\u4e86\uff1a\u201c<em>\u8fd9\u4e48\u770b\u6765\uff0c\u5a5a\u59fb\u4e0e\u4eba\u4eec\u7684\u5e78\u798f\u611f\u4e4b\u95f4\u7684\u5173\u7cfb\u5c1a\u4e0d\u660e\u786e\u3002<\/em>\u201d\u4e00\u8fb9\u662f\u6d77\u91cf\u7684\u652f\u6301\u5a5a\u59fb\u7684\u79d1\u5b66\u6587\u732e\uff0c\u4e00\u8fb9\u662f\u67d0\u4e9b\u72ec\u8eab\u4e3b\u4e49\u7684\u4e2a\u4eba\u610f\u89c1\uff0c\u7136\u540e\u7ed3\u8bba\u5c31\u662f\u4e0d\u660e\u786e\u4e86\u3002\u771f\u662f\u516c\u5141\u554a\uff01\u8fd9\u79cd\u624b\u6cd5\u4e5f\u53ef\u4ee5\u7528\u6765\u53cd\u5bf9\u5168\u7403\u6c14\u5019\u53d8\u6696\u7684\u5b58\u5728\uff0c\u53cd\u5bf9\u5730\u7403\u662f\u4e00\u4e2a\u7403\uff0c\u6bd5\u7adf\u6709\u4e9b\u4eba\u7684\u786e\u662f\u8fd9\u4e48\u8ba4\u4e3a\u7684\u3002<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>\u6211\u975e\u5e38\u6b22\u8fceKnowyourself\u5728\u5b83\u7684\u6587\u7ae0\u4e2d\u5f15\u7528\u6211\u7684\u535a\u5ba2\u6587\u7ae0\uff0c\u5e76\u4e14\u672c\u4eba\u76ee\u524d\u5e76\u4e0d\u4ecb\u610f\u6211\u7684\u89c2\u70b9\u88ab\u8feb\u8ddf\u5404\u79cd\u5e7f\u544a\u5939\u6742\u5728\u4e00\u8d77\u3002\u6bd5\u7adf\uff0c\u4eba\u5bb6\u7684\u6587\u7ae0\u7684\u4e3b\u8981\u76ee\u7684\u662f\u4e3a\u4e86\u5356\u8bfe\u7a0b\u548c\u5356\u4ea7\u54c1\u3002<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>\u4ee5\u4e0a\u4e24\u7bc7\u6587\u7ae0\u662f\u4e24\u4e2a\u4f8b\u5b50\uff0c\u5b83\u4eec\u4ee3\u8868\u4e86\u67d0\u79cd\u65f6\u4ee3\u7cbe\u795e\uff0c\u4e00\u4e2a\u662f\u62d2\u7edd\u6210\u957f\uff0c\u53e6\u4e00\u4e2a\u662f\u62d2\u7edd\u8d70\u51fa\u81ea\u8eab\u2014\u2014\u603b\u5730\u6765\u8bf4\uff0c\u5b83\u4eec\u90fd\u662f\u62d2\u7edd\u8d70\u51fa<a href=\"https:\/\/positivepsychology.com\/comfort-zone\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">\u201c\u8212\u9002\u533a\u201d<\/a>\uff08\u4eba\u4eec\u5728\u8fd9\u4e2a\u533a\u57df\u91cc\u611f\u5230\u5b89\u5168\u548c\u53ef\u63a7\uff09\uff0c\u8fd9\u79cd\u62d2\u7edd\u8ddf\u66f4\u5e7f\u6cdb\u7684\u201c\u8eba\u5e73\u201d\u6587\u5316\u8054\u7cfb\u5728\u4e00\u8d77\u3002\u8fd9\u79cd\u6c1b\u56f4\u9020\u6210\u4e86\u4e2d\u6587\u4e92\u8054\u7f51\u4e0e\u82f1\u6587\u4e92\u8054\u7f51\u4e2d\u7684\u4e00\u4e2a\u660e\u663e\u5dee\u5f02\uff0c\u5e76\u4e14\u5f25\u6f2b\u7740\u4e00\u79cd\u6545\u6b65\u81ea\u5c01\u7684\u6c14\u606f\u3002\u4e3a\u4e86\u7ed9\u81ea\u5df1\u8fa9\u62a4\uff0c\u5b83\u4eec\u8981\u4e48\u53cd\u5bf9\u79d1\u5b66\uff0c\u8981\u4e48\u62ff\u4e00\u4e9b\u4e0d\u5165\u6d41\u7684\u5185\u5bb9\u6765\u5145\u5f53\u79d1\u5b66\u7ed3\u8bba\u3002<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>\u6211\u9047\u5230\u8fc7\u4e00\u4e2a\u771f\u7684\u76f8\u4fe1\u201c\u5360\u661f\u5b66\u201d\u7684\u4eba\uff0c\u6211\u8be2\u95ee\u5979\u8fd9\u79cd\u4e1c\u897f\u6709\u65e0\u79d1\u5b66\u4f9d\u636e\u3002\u5979\u975e\u5e38\u81ea\u4fe1\u5730\u544a\u8bc9\u6211\uff0c\u79d1\u5b66\u4f9d\u636e\u5c31\u662f\u8363\u683c\u7684\u201c\u5171\u65f6\u6027\u7406\u8bba\u201d\u2014\u2014\u800c\u8fd9\u663e\u7136\u662f\u8363\u683c\u7684\u6c61\u70b9\u3002\u5361\u5c14\u00b7\u7f57\u6770\u65af\u665a\u5e74\u5bf9\u901a\u7075\u4e5f\u5f88\u611f\u5174\u8da3\uff0c\u4f46\u540e\u4eba\u66f4\u613f\u610f\u5fd8\u8bb0\u8fd9\u4ef6\u4e8b\u3002\u6211\u8ba4\u8bc6\u7684\u4e00\u4f4d\u72ec\u8eab\u4e3b\u4e49\u7f51\u53cb\u6709\u6b21\u8f6c\u53d1\u4e86\u4e00\u4e2a\u52a8\u6001\uff0c\u8bf4\u5355\u8eab\u7684\u6bcd\u8001\u9f20\u4e0e\u6709\u914d\u5076\u7684\u6bcd\u8001\u9f20\u76f8\u6bd4\u5bff\u547d\u66f4\u957f\uff0c\u5979\u663e\u7136\u89c9\u5f97\u81ea\u5df1\u5f97\u5230\u4e86\u79d1\u5b66\u7684\u652f\u6301\u3002\u800c\u4e8b\u5b9e\u4e0a\u5bf9\u7537\u4eba\u548c\u5973\u4eba\u7684\u79d1\u5b66\u7814\u7a76\u7ed3\u8bba\u662f\u76f8\u53cd\u7684\u3002<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>\u300a\u4e3a\u4ec0\u4e48\u300b\u7684\u4f5c\u8005\u4f3c\u4e4e\u6bd4\u8f83\u4e86\u89e3\u5fc3\u7406\u5b66\u548c\u81ea\u52a9\u6587\u5316\uff0c\u4ed6\u5f15\u7528\u4e86\u5361\u5c14\u00b7\u7f57\u6770\u65af\u548c\u9a6c\u65af\u6d1b\u7684\u8bdd\uff0c\u4e0d\u8fc7\u4e5f\u6709\u4e00\u4e9b\u66f2\u89e3\u3002\u6bd4\u5982\uff0c\u62d2\u7edd\u81ea\u6211\u5b9e\u73b0\u7684\u4eba\u5e76\u4e0d\u662f\u88ab\u770b\u4f5c\u201c\u75c5\u4eba\u201d\u3002\u5982\u679c\u7f57\u6770\u65af\u548c\u9a6c\u65af\u6d1b\u542c\u8bf4\u81ea\u5df1\u662f\u5728\u8fdb\u884c\u793e\u4f1a\u63a7\u5236\uff0c\u53ef\u80fd\u4f1a\u4ece\u575f\u5893\u91cc\u8df3\u51fa\u6765\u3002<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>\u4f5c\u8005\u80af\u5b9a\u6ca1\u6709\u8ba4\u771f\u8bfb\u8fc7\u7f57\u6770\u65af\uff0c\u56e0\u4e3a\u201c<em>\u66f4\u52c7\u6562\u7684\u505a\u6cd5\u4e5f\u8bb8\u662f\u627f\u8ba4\u81ea\u5df1\u7684\u5c40\u9650\uff0c\u6211\u4e0d\u60f3\u53d8\u5316\uff0c\u6211\u5c31\u5728\u8fd9\u91cc\u633a\u597d<\/em>\u201d\uff08\u5728\u6211\u770b\u6765\uff0c\u8fd9\u4e0d\u8fc7\u662f\u4e00\u53e5\u5fc3\u7075\u9e21\u6c64\u800c\u5df2\uff09\uff0c\u8fd9\u8ddf\u5fc3\u7406\u5b66\u5e76\u6ca1\u6709\u592a\u5927\u5206\u6b67\u3002\u7f57\u6770\u65af\u8bf4\u8fc7\uff1a\u201c<strong><em>The curious paradox is that when I accept myself just as I am, then I can change.<\/em><\/strong>\u201d\uff08&#8221;\u5947\u602a\u7684\u6096\u8bba\u662f\uff0c\u5f53\u6211\u6309\u7167\u6211\u6240\u662f\u7684\u6837\u5b50\u63a5\u53d7\u6211\u81ea\u5df1\u65f6\uff0c\u90a3\u4e48\u6211\u5c31\u53ef\u4ee5\u6539\u53d8\u3002&#8221;\uff09\u8fd9\u610f\u5473\u7740\uff0c\u5f53\u4e00\u4e2a\u4eba\u627f\u8ba4\u4e86\u81ea\u5df1\u7684\u5c40\u9650\uff0c\u8fd9\u662f\u6539\u53d8\u7684\u8d77\u70b9\u3002<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>\u5206\u6b67\u5728\u4e8e\uff0c\u5f53\u4e00\u4e2a\u4eba\u627f\u8ba4\u4e86\u81ea\u5df1\u7684\u5c40\u9650\uff0c\u8fd9\u4e2a\u4eba\u89c9\u5f97\u81ea\u5df1\u5e94\u8be5\u6539\u53d8\u5417\uff1f\u4eba\u6587\u4e3b\u4e49\u4e0e\u62d2\u7edd\u8d70\u51fa\u201c\u8212\u9002\u533a\u201d\u7684\u4e2d\u56fd\u5f53\u4e0b\u7684\u65f6\u4ee3\u7cbe\u795e\u5728\u6b64\u5206\u9053\u626c\u9573\u3002\u6b64\u65f6\u6211\u4eec\u5df2\u7ecf\u65e0\u6cd5\u4ece\u300a\u4e3a\u4ec0\u4e48\u300b\u83b7\u5f97\u66f4\u591a\u4e1c\u897f\u4e86\uff0c\u5b83\u7684\u7ed3\u5c3e\u5b9e\u5728\u662f\u4e0d\u77e5\u6240\u4e91\u3002<\/p>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image aligncenter size-large\"><img decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/my-img.stephenleng.com\/self-improvement.png\" alt=\"\"\/><figcaption 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